Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Randomize
