We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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