id be glad to
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
