Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
