Your tits are I can't wait for
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
