wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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