Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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