I swear she didn't look like that last week.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
So vagazzling was a success
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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