Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
