He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
