Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
