remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
