The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
