HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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