you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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