i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
