Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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