it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
