Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Randomize
