with your own penis?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
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