if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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