I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
my shit smells like andre
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
