Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just want to make out with him forever
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
