he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
