I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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