I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
