I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
