i will never coherently bang her
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
