So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Just pee around me
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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