Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
