awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
