It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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