I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Dicks are not precious.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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