One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
