maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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