That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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