Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
