I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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