does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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