I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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