i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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