I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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