just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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