im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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