"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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