Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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