Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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