bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
