So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I smell stomach acid.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
i now understand why vodka
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I pour the whiskey from now on
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
