From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
this hospital has no fireball
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
