you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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