Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
